Thursday, August 24, 2006

Knowing is Half the Battle: Well, Are You?

I recently came across this GREAT list of statements that if true in your life, then you know you are not Reformed. Kuddos to Dr. Kim Riddlebarger for coming up with this list.

You Know You're Not Reformed if:

1. You think the Apostles Creed is the guy who fought Rocky in Rocky I.
2. You think the Canons of Dort are like the Guns of Navarrone.
3. You think Ursinus is a nasal condition.
4. You think Arminians are the people who run convenience stores.
5. You think “popery” in the church makes it smell flowery.
6. You think the psalter goes with the pepper shaker.
7. You think Unconditional Election is a practice of communist dictatorships.
8. You think the Three Forms of Unity are health, wealth, and happiness.
9. You think “catechism” and “dogma” relate to pets.
10. You don't know why some people put periods in the word T.U.L.I.P.
11. You think the guy talking about Irresistable Grace must have a girlfriend named Grace.
12. You think Particular Redemption has to do with coupons that can only be used in specific stores.
13. You think the Five Solas is a follow-up album to the Three Tenors.
14. You think that Imputation has to do with data entry.
15. You think Propitiation is for hair loss.
16. You think Zwingli is a sound effect made when Wile E. Coyote fails to catch the Road Runner.
17. You think that Justification has to do with aligning the margins of a text.
18. You think Pelagianism is wrong because one should always do original work.
19. You think the Diet of Worms sounds disgusting.
20. You think Calvin is a comic strip character.

So, how many of these are true of you?

"The Calvinist is the man who has seen God, and who, having seen God in His glory, is filled on the one hand, with a sense of his own unworthiness to stand in God's sight as a creature, and much more as a sinner, and on the other hand, adoring wonder that nevertheless this God is a God who receives sinners. He who believes in God without reserve and is determined that God shall be God to him, in all his thinking, feeling, willing--in the entire compass of his life activities, intellectual, social, religious relations--is, by the force of that strictest of all logic which presides over the outworking of principles into thought and life, by the very necessity of the case, a Calvinist." (The Theology of Calvin, Benjamin B. Warfield, D.D., LL.D., Late Professor at Princeton Theological Seminary)


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